"The broken and beautiful”
The months following my coming out letter have held many emotional ups and downs. The song, Truth Be Told by Mathew West has been on my mind for many weeks now and is worth sharing:
"Truth Be Told
Lie number 1 you’re supposed to have it all together And when they ask how you’re doing just smile and tell them “never better”
Lie number 2 everybody’s life is perfect except yours So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors
Truth be told The truth is rarely told
I say I’m fine, yeah I’m fine oh I’m fine, hey I’m fine but I’m not I’m broken And when it’s out of control I say it’s under control but it’s not And you know it I don’t know why it’s so hard to admit it When being honest is the only way to fix it There’s no failure, no fall There’s no sin you don’t already know So let the truth be told..."
We are not broken-broken but more like we are still trying to make sense of all these puzzle pieces and how everything works and facing questions about how we navigate this chapter of our lives. In another song from Mathew West, he strings words together so well that shares what is on our mind from his newest song, "Wonderful Life.”
"This life ain’t always wonderful But what a wonderful life it’s been It’ll send you flying high It’ll bring you to your knees It’s the heartbreak and the happiness And everything between It’s the laugh until it hurts It’s the hurt until you cry Can’t have one without the other That’s how you know that you’re alive In this broken and beautiful Gone mad and magical Awfully wonderful life
It’s a mountain and a valley It’s a cradle and a grave It’s a blessing and a battle And it’s on any given day It’s messy and imperfect It’s a thief and it’s a gift Yeah, this life ain’t always wonderful But what a wonderful life it is"
Heather and I have learned that life is messy but we become more grateful for the wonderful moments that this life does give us. The connection and love we do have for each other and our kids. The understanding and respect we have for each other. The laughs we share when everything sometimes does not make sense. "That’s how you know that you’re alive In this broken and beautiful Gone mad and magical Awfully wonderful life"
Music is something that brings me so much peace and often how I find the words to express what I am feeling. The last song I want to share that I have played daily for the last few weeks: "Gonna Be Alright by Ryan Ellis" His voice is so soothing and a gentle reminder that everything is gonna be alright.
"Gonna Be Alright
You hear my cry, my deepest pain You listen patiently as long as it takes You whisper truth over the lies The words that bring me back to life Everything’s gonna be alright Everything’s gonna be alright You hold me Your arms Until my storm is calm (Until the storm is calm) Everything’s gonna be alright Everything’s gonna be alright You are the strength when I am weak The only one that leads my soul to perfect peace And I will sing my way through the night The words that bring me back to life…”
